And...we have a heartbeat!

In our OB's words, the baby was showing off today :) As soon as that doppler touched my skin we heard a strong heartbeat, loud and clear! I'm convinced there isn't a more beautiful sound in the world. Heard the heartbeat today, enter the 2nd trimester tomorrow...and I am a happy, relieved, content woman. I finally feel like I can allow myself to fully experience the excitement of this miracle that is happening.

When I was in middle school, my youth pastor gave each of us a challenge - memorize the whole of Psalm 139 (thanks PJ!!). I don't know all of his reasons behind choosing that particular psalm, but for this insecure 14 year old it was the most poignant passage of scripture that I could have committed to memory at that time. Ever since then, Psalm 139 has been a source of comfort, encouragement, hope, and security for me. I have constantly revisited those verses over the years, reminding myself of the incredible love of my Heavenly Father. Now Psalm 139 has taken on a whole new meaning. Instead of seeking comfort for myself in that treasured psalm, I now seek comfort in the knowledge that our baby's life is in God's very capable hands. I'm starting to see this psalm through the eyes of a mother, a mother longing to know that all is well with her unborn baby, a mother needing the reminder that the baby she cannot yet see is not unseen by the One who has created him/her.

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
~ Psalm 139:13-16

Baby's First Picture!

We had our first prenatal appointment last Monday and I am SO happy to report that all is well! I was expecting we would hear the heartbeat for the first time, but instead we got to have an ultrasound - way more fun :) It was incredible seeing our baby on the screen and seeing the tiny heart beating! It was great timing, too, because the next day we traveled to Michigan with baby's first picture in hand. What a relief it is to know that everything is progressing smoothly and the heart is beating as it should. However, our first appointment didn't quite go off without a hitch...

My OB and I were totally wrapped up in what was happening on the screen - she was pointing everything out and trying to get a decent picture while I looked on in amazement...and tried to ignore the discomfort of the internal ultrasound! We got to the end, she printed out the pictures, and as she handed them over to me we both looked over at Will...and there he was, slumped over in the chair completely passed out. Didn't see that one coming! Sure, he has a tendency to pass out in medical situations...sure, he's passed out getting his ears cleaned during a physical...but at the ultrasound?? Really?! Here I was expecting this to be an incredible shared experience for me and Will, one when we would both be hit with a sense of awe at this new life that has been created. Instead, I was awed and he was unconscious. Not exactly a confidence-booster when looking ahead to his active participation in the labor and delivery...which I'm guessing is probably a bit more intense than the ultrasound ;)

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This picture is how we told our parents that we're expecting. Yes, that's right - we shamelessly dressed our cat in a onesie for the sake of a funny "We're Pregnant!" announcement. While it is definitely much harder than it looks to get a cat into a onesie and have him sit still enough to take a picture, seeing the looks on our parents' faces (once they figured it out) was so worth the effort. Although Henry may think otherwise... :)

"Pregnant"

It's amazing how that one little word on a stick of plastic can change everything...

It was early on a Saturday morning (Oct. 23) and I just couldn't sleep. Am I or am I not? Are our lives about to change forever or stay the same? This is something I have wanted and waited for my whole life. I have always known that I would be a mom someday. In fact, that's really all I ever wanted to be. I've always wanted to teach as a career, but being a mom was something I felt created to do. I was made to be a mom.

For about a week I had been experiencing symptoms that I couldn't ignore. I had already done research on early signs of pregnancy so that I would know what to look for, and one by one they started to appear. As I was laying in bed that morning, I knew it was time to get up and take that pregnancy test...time to face the truth. Deep down I think I knew I was pregnant, but those little doubts creeping in were terrifying me. I looked over at Will, who was completely oblivious to my inner torment, debated waking him, and then decided to just sneak out of bed and do what needed to be done.

As I was waiting the standard 3 minutes for the results, I reached over the bathroom counter where the test was laying and something caught my eye. Wait...could it be?! Did I really just see what I thought I saw?! I grabbed the test, looked at the result window, and my hopes were confirmed. "Pregnant". PREGNANT!!!!!!!!! I opened the bathroom door, ran into the bedroom, and proceeded to tell my soundly sleeping hubby that I'm pregnant!! Ok, looking back I probably should have made sure he was fully awake before shouting the good news, but I was too excited to think about whether or not he was actually comprehending what was happening. Once I settled down a bit, and after he woke up enough to stare at me in confusion, I told him that we're going to have a baby. "Will, I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant, honey!"

And with those words we embarked on what I know is going to be the greatest adventure of our life together thus far. There's already been a lot of praying, researching, worrying, more praying, more researching - and I'm sure there will continue to be! One fact that has been my constant calming thought is that this baby of ours is in God's hands. He is the Creator and Sustainer of this little one's life, He is the one forming each tiny finger and toe (and everything in between), and as precious as this baby is to us, s/he is even more precious to Him.