3 Months Old!!

So our baby boy is 3 months old already!  And I feel like he is changing every single day.  One of the newest changes is how well he is holding up his head - he loves doing it!  It is SO cute...I'll prop him up on my legs, hold his hands, and he immediately tries to pull himself into a sitting position while exclaiming loudly.  Once he stabilizes his neck, he looks around wide-eyed as if he is seeing everything from a new perspective.  He is getting so much sturdier, no longer the floppy newborn he used to be...which excites me and saddens me.  Another new development is the intentionality with which he moves.  Whereas he used to just flail around with little control, now he sees something within his reach (usually the animals hanging from his play mat) and you can tell he is intentionally trying to hit that object with his hands.  His look of concentration is absolutely adorable - he focuses in with intense determination and his one eyebrow raises as he plots how he is going to get his hand to connect with the animal to make it move.  He has also started reaching for my face when I'm in close proximity, which can be dangerous with those little fingernails of his (nearly impossible to keep clipped!).

My favorite recent development of his is how social he is.  I love seeing his huge gummy smiles, especially when he sticks out his tongue at the same time :)  And oh, his little laughs just melt my heart.  When he gets really excited, he leans his head back with this huge grin & gleeful giggle.  I willingly make a total fool of myself just to get this reaction out of him.  Along with his smiles, he is "talking" more and more.  We have many conversations throughout the day, and it brings me so much joy to just sit there and talk to Evan.  I just say whatever comes to my mind, and the noises he makes in response are so sweet.  Sometimes he'll just burst out with this string of sounds like he is telling a story, and I adore it.

He still isn't too keen on his car seat (it's pretty much the bane of his existence), most of his naps are still only a half hour long (pretty much to the minute), and he isn't sleeping through the night yet (we're hoping that development is coming soon!), but I am thoroughly enjoying the little person that he is and can't wait to see the one he will become. 

Here's a picture of him holding his head up all by himself!  Hoping to have more pictures to post as soon as we take some good ones :) 

The Difference A Year Makes...

I was on Facebook today during one of Evan's naps, and happened to look over at the right sidebar where they list statuses from last year.  My status on September 7, 2010, was this: "Patience is a hard lesson to learn."  Immediately I was taken back to those days, just 365 days ago, when I was facing my biggest struggle to date - waiting on God's timing for a baby.  Little did I know then that the very next month we'd be getting the wonderful news I'd been longing for...and that in a year the baby I had prayed for would be upstairs sleeping in his crib.  It's hard to believe how long those months seemed as I waited - it felt like they dragged on forever!  But the year since has flown by in a whirlwind of change...first all the changes that come with pregnancy, and now the incredible changes that parenthood brings.  A year ago, all I could do was hold the hope of a baby in my heart...now I can hold our baby in my arms.  One year ago, Evan was a long-held dream...now he's a precious reality.  Evan is living proof that God's plan and timing are perfect...and so worth the wait. 

Top 10...

Things I've learned in my first 2 months of mommy-hood (in no particular order):

1. It is truly wonderful to know there are people who love your baby almost as much as you do.

2. The principle (myth, is more like it) that babies sleep A LOT does not apply to all babies.

Don't be fooled by all the pictures of me sleeping... :)

3. You will never second guess yourself more than when you become a parent...or maybe that's just me.

4. No method/strategy is going to work perfectly for every child all the time...though it may feel like it works like a charm for every child but yours.

5. Paying for a professional newborn photo session is totally worth it.

6. Having a baby makes you appreciate and love your spouse more than you ever have.

7. You really don't need that much sleep to function...but you'll do just about anything to get it.

8.  Seeing your baby smile at you for the first time is indescribably exciting...and it never gets old.  Ever.

This is as close as I've come to capturing one of his beautiful, gummy smiles on camera.

9. It's okay if the house isn't sparklingly clean, the laundry doesn't get put away immediately, and the dishes sit in the sink a little longer than usual.  Being a mom is definitely a full time job, and everyday tasks tend to fall by the wayside...especially when you have a baby who isn't all that into napping :)

10. It does not mean you're a bad mother if you sometimes long for the way things were...or at times feel overwhelmed, lost, and helpless.  I really struggled with guilt over having these feelings.  While I had always imagined how wonderful motherhood can be, I was not at all prepared for how hard it is.  The sleep deprivation, hormones, and total life change create a perfect storm for doubts, fears, and anxieties.  It's hard to reconcile the incredible love you have for your child with the occasional longing for the days before he was born...the days when you could sleep through the night without interruption, go on a date with your husband spontaneously, make plans without having to think about feedings, and all you had was yourself to take care of.  I am so thankful for Evan and his presence in our lives, but things are definitely a lot more complicated now.  That isn't a bad thing, just different...and different takes some getting used to.  It isn't easy caring for a baby 24/7, but the most worthwhile things in life never are.  And Evan is definitely worthwhile.  His smiles, giggles, and coos brighten my day, and I can't imagine life without him.